How To Flirt With Girls

Are you attracted to a girl you think is out of your league? Read this article for some tips on how to gain her interest and improve the likelihood of successful interaction. If not, be single.Image:Biba.jpg
  1. Be yourself
  2. . Do not attempt extreme images such as macho, super-smooth, cool dude, comedian, or a pick-up artist. Even if it does impress her momentarily, the truth will surface eventually, and you will likely lose her trust and her interest. It is much better to be honestfrom the beginning, remember all girls can smell a liar.
  3. Start a conversation with her. Most girls want guys to make the first move, so speak with confidence and flow, demonstrating that you are secure with yourself. You can pretend the confidence at first, and it will come more naturally when she responds to you.
  4. Listen more than you talk. This doesn't mean sit there like a dud, but ask a question, wait until she is completely done talking, then make a comment that shows you were listening. Avoid interrupting her, because no one appreciates this, and doing so will kill your chances at making a good impression. Also, don't argue unless the issue is very important to you.
  5. Be bold, but also courteous. If you can't think of anything else to say, look her in the eyes and compliment her. Don't be afraid to speak up, or you will never get anywhere!
    • If she has a scarf on that you think is nice, tell her, and touch her scarf for a few seconds, and ask when and where she got it. Don't forget to tell her it suits her. Use an undertone—girls love it when you lean towards them and murmur a compliment. Be careful with compliments on clothes: don't use too many or she may perceive you as a homosexual.
    • Don't overwhelm her with compliments. You should focus on going from "nice acquaintance" to "intimate friend/potential lover" smoothly. Intimate friends joke around, tease each other gently, touch each other. Start with touching her on the arm when you're laughing (don't watch the hand). See if she touches you.
  6. Find out her interests and the music she likes. Then, talk to her about them. If you can't think of anything to talk about, use a conversation starter like "How has your day been?" or "Don't you love this time of year?". These most usually work only if you are already friends with her, and you see her on a daily basis. If you do see her on a daily basis and she mentions, for example, a vacation she is going on soon, inquire where she is going, and branch off from there; when she gets back, ask her how it was. Don't be extremely serious in your inquiry; just ask it casually.
  7. Be funny. Most girls agree that a good sense of humor is attractive. Humor can also relieve awkwardness. If you say something weird, follow it up with something funny and turn it into a joke. Alternatively, just learn to be witty. Almost all girls like intelligence as well as confidence, and blending those with humor can be a very effective combination.
    • Teasing a girl can be a good way to make her laugh and keep things interesting. Just don't joke about something that may be a sensitive issue, such as her weight. If she strongly cares about saving the trees, for example, and you rip up paper in an attempt to get laughs, she'll just end up hating your guts.
    • Find something that you both think is hilarious. Turn it into an inside joke, so when you want to talk to her, you have something to say no matter what, and she thinks that something is funny. However, don't use it too much, or it loses its humor and her opinion of your humor is lowered.
  8. Don't be too eager to start conversing with her at every possible opportunity. When she walks into the room, you do not have to jump up and say "Hi!!" immediately, but if she sits next to you and initiates conversation, go for it!
    • Girls will be touched if you make the first move. Stare at her for maybe 2 seconds and, when she looks at you, look embarrassed. She'll probably laugh and remember you--for a good reason!
  9. Don't be fake--it turns a girl off. If you are trying to be more macho then you are or smarter or more confident then you really are, you look desperate and that seriously upset her.


  • Try to get her to talk more about herself, and show interest in what she has to say. If you say, "What do you do in your free time?" she might say, "I like to edit on wikiHow." Then you might say, "What's that?" Then, let her talk while you nod, smile, say "yes," etc.
  • No one is out of anyone's reach. It's all about timing, and proper procedure. If you begin a conversation with someone you are interested in, with confidence and be yourself. You may be surprised whom you can attract.
  • When walking with her, give her a friendly hug goodbye or a high five, but hold it there a few seconds before letting go. Always ask her out first; guys should always make the first move.
  • Strange as it may seem, some very pretty girls have never been flirted with or have had a boyfriend because other boys are just as nervous about talking to them as you are. Don't be scared off just because you're intimidated. Sometimes, these super popular girls are even lonely because they feel they have all these friends and no one wants to go out with her, so become her friend first and then move on to the flirting (don't stay her friend too long, though; she may worry a relationship may ruin a friendship); this way, you will not scare her off.
  • Flirting is supposed to be fun, so the less stressed and more relaxed you are, the better. Be happy and enjoy the time you spend with a girl, even if nothing else comes of it.
  • Remember, no matter if you are girl or boy, if you feel you just can't understand your 'flirtee' because of their gender, relax! Just about everyone feels this way. There's even a book making fun of this titled "Everything Men Know About Women." It's 120 pages long, and every single page, other than the front and back cover, is blank.
  • If you ask a question like "So how's your boyfriend?", make it sound more only like a casual interest rather than an inquiry to check that she is free. If she says, "I don't have one", you're in! However, just remember that she might take offence to a question like that especially when she doesn't have a boyfriend.
  • Be sure to use whatever makes you stand out to your advantage to help get her to notice you. Be funny, charming, a good dresser, etc.
  • Be nicely groomed and brush your teeth. Make sure that you don't smell bad or wear too much cologne. You don’t want your cologne to be the ONLY thing she remembers! There’s definitely no need to overdo it. In fact, AXE recommends simply spraying under each arm and once across the chest (also known as PIT PIT CHEST!), that’s all you need to keep it fresh. This way, you’ll feel and smell your best, giving you the confidence to approach the girl and be yourself.
  • After successfully getting the girl in a position where she will enjoy going on a date with you,ask her out.
  • If the girl is very good looking, she may be so used to having guys flirt with her that it won't mean anything. Be cocky and funny. Poke fun at her a little bit and make her laugh. Don't be mean, but a little sarcasm here and there helps. The girl will feel like you are a challenge that needs to be conquered. Just keep it up, and soon you'll have her in your arms.
  • A good cologne can make a guy irresistible. Use a little cologne or at least shampoo that smells good. Girls really notice how a guy smells. Just don't wear too much! Too much never smells good! Try stuff Girls love instead of all that car interior stuff, I know if a guy smelled like say strawberries, I would love it!
  • Keep jumping from one topic to another while talking. Tell her some short wise and wonderful story if there is a long pause in the middle of your conversation.
  • Tips from a girl:
    • Girls like feeling warm and safe, so if it is cold and she doesn't have a jacket, hug her. Don't give her your jacket right away. Put your arm around her and huddle together, then offer the jacket. Keep hugging, and it might lead to a kiss. Hug tightly, but without choking her. If she looks upset, ask her what's wrong. After she tells you what's wrong, hug her. Tightly, but again, not choking her. This will make her feel safe.
    • When or if you hug her, rub your hand gently up and down on her back. That will make the hug more meaningful.
    • DON'T flirt with her then later ignore and forget about her, then start flirting with another girl. Girls absolutely HATE it when they're used like that. Keep an interest in her, at least.
    • I love it when a guy makes eye contact. Hold it there for 2-4 seconds (long!) and if she looks dazed, that means she got lost in your eyes, and is into you. Do this once or twice a day.
    • Keep eye contact at all times. If you have pretty eyes, she'll get lost in them, and your chances will shoot up tremendously. Likewise, if you're getting to know someone, and you're asking random questions about her (by the way, that's a good thing), you should try asking her if she can do this--and demonstrate crossing your eyes. Seriously, when a guy with gorgeous eyes did that to me, it totally worked!
    • Some girls love sensitive guys, so maybe show her some of your sensitive side, and she'll go for you. But try not to be too sensative, or she'll think of you as someone else, if you know what I mean. Show her that you care about her and different things. And don't be a jerk. I know that's a 'well obviously!' thought, but sometimes guys forget that and it turns a girl off.
    • Girls love hugs. I cannot stress how much they do. A nice, warm and friendly hug will do the trick. A minimum of 3 seconds at least, more would be better. Don't grip too tightly or too loosely. Relax yourself when you hug a girl, so you don't seem tense and nervous. Put your cheek against the side of their head (if you can), girls love that.
    • Whenever they tell a joke, even if it's not funny, at least smile. You can tell them you thought it was stupid in a funny tone, but don't directly tell them it was bad. You'll look like a jerk.
    • Make very casual, but meaningful, compliments even if you're not all that close. These can sometimes be turned into questions. For example, she shows that she can bench more than you can, so you can ask, "Geez, when did you get so strong?" She'll appreciate it, and it may lead to a conversation.
  • Some girls get confused when you mention something about you liking them, then you take it back, especially if you continue to cycle between these two assertions. Go for the girl! She might like you on the inside and she's playing hard to get. Never tell anyone else you have a crush on the girl, not even your best friend. Secrets leak out eventually.
  • Sit close to her but don't breathe down her neck. Two chairs side-by-side are all that are needed. You might also be able to sit behind her and at times hit her hair a time or two. She'll turn around if she feels you, then make a joke that she finds humorous.
    • If you're going to poke her and try to be cute, do it only once or twice. Doing it much more than that will really annoy her, and she will think of you as a pest!
    • Make jokes about yourself. For example, if you have done something like ripped your trousers make sure she knows and laughs about it with you. Get her to make it yours and her little secret, this makes her think that you trust her more.
    • If she made a mistake or a flaw may be a accident and she blushes, say to her never mind and don't make her feel humaliated. Always try to cover for her mistakes and show her that you care and that you will be there by her side every time that she needs assistance and that she can have someone to lean on.


  • Be prepared for rejection. It happens to everyone at one time or another. The important thing is to not dwell on negative experiences. If you decide to, you might as well be single for the rest of your life.
  • If you want to or are trying to flirt with a girl, don't talk about other girls you like when you're in her company even if they are not referred to as likable.
  • Don't flirt with two or more girls at once. It will make her confused and she will stop liking you.
  • Don't let her disinterest dissuade you. It doesn't always work at first, so just keep speaking to her, but don't try any of the techniques. Just learn more about her.
  • Don't be TOO cocky.
  • Do NOT launch into your whole life story the first time you talk with a girl, especially if you are in a fun or casual environment (like a bar or party). It's better to use observational humor or be a little spontaneous. When a girl asks you to tell her about yourself, give her a short paragraph's worth of info (just moved from this place, do such a thing for a living, just saw this show/movie/concert). The shorter, the better. If there is just a silence, keep going. DO NOT tell her about every member of your family, every detail of the recent funeral, and descriptions of your feelings and inner turmoils every day since then. Nobody wants to know that much about anyone right off the bat.
  • The friend zone is a place that no man wants to find himself in. It's hard to escape from and can totally kill her romantic interest in you. Don't hang out with her constantly unless you're having a romantic relationship. Stay in that little area just below a friend and keep chipping away at her. Someday, it might work out, but note that she might see you only as a friend and not how you see her.
  • Don't let her get the wrong idea that you're just an annoying pest.
  • If you practice on other girls, don't hurt them. Don't lead them on just to dump them. Pick girls you are really interested in. Who knows? You might end up finding someone even more interesting than the one you have your sights on.
  • Don't trust dating advice written by most high school students unless they are the type of person that can end up hooking up with many varieties of guys or girls very swiftly. Sometimes, even that doesn't work.
  • Don't trap her in a corner so you can talk to her; she may find it creepy.
  • Never overreact to anything she says. She'll think you're mocking her and will become slightly uneasy.
  • Never tell her you like her at the beginning because she might distance herself from you.
  • Never brag. It's a big turnoff.
  • Lastly, don't be stupid. Don't say anything that will make her mad, sad or uncomfortable.
  • If you act too sexual, she'll stay away from you.
  • In closing, just be nice to her and get to know her.

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